( Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince )

I HAVE NOT SEEN THE NEW LEVERAGE YET BUT I AM DOWNLOADING IT NOW SO I CAN WATCH IT WHEN I COME HOME FROM WORK!!! GLEE!!!

EDIT: Have they seriously made a 10 Things I Hate About You TV series? Not cool!

The cover for Order of the Phoenix beat Philosopher's Stone by a single vote. Oh noes! I suppose if my favourite had to be beaten, OotP is a worthy winner. I mean, it's not as interesting as PS but whatever :p Poor Cos and GoF got not votes at all, and to my surprise, DH received one. C'mon, fess up whoever voted for DH as their favourite cover!

Because I had fun seeing what people were voting for, and because I'm trying to keep busy avoiding work, let's do the same with the adult covers. I absolutely love the adult covers. Both sets. I enjoy the kids covers, but the adult ones are much sexier. I adore the HBP cover and second favourite is a close-run race between both versions of CoS and the old version of GoF. There's not a single cover that I don't like, actually. (Click to embiggen)



Poll #1029818
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 11

My Favourite UK (Adult) Book Cover Is...

I just tried watching some American uploads of M*A*S*H and, wow, the canned laughter makes it much less funny. Bless the UK stations for never showing them with a laugh track.

'Ought' is a good word, isn't it? I should use it more often.

Anyway, I want to talk about the Harry Potter book covers. Well, what I actually want is to wake up and discover that my dissertation has been written and that I am now the proud possessor of a decent job that doesn't chip away at my soul little by little. So, what I can talk about is HP book covers.

In my humble opinion, the UK ones varied drastically in quality, getting slightly worse as they went along (except for the new adult ones which uniformly kicked arse, reaching a high point with HBP). Observe (click to embiggen):



In my opinion, the first cover is far and away the best. I just love it, and I really wish that they'd stuck with this artist for the rest of them. The others fail mainly, IMO, because the figures are rubbish. The depictions of various characters aren't bad, but they're not good either. OotP gets out of this by only portraying Fawkes and is therefore quite decent. PoA almost goes down this route, with Buckbeak taking up most of the picture, but Harry and Hermione are squeezed in there, ruining it a bit. As for DH, well, Hermione looks like a blow-up sex doll... So, am I alone in vastly preferring the first cover?

Poll #1029411
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 10

My Favourite UK (Kids) Book Cover Is...

In slightly related news, kayim, your postcard arrived yesterday. Thank you muchly! Krum was an excellent replacement for Snape because movie!Krum is so very, very sexy.

The perpetually fantastic mizzmarvel is currently hosting The Give Neville Blow Jobs Meme over at her journal.

Write (or draw!) a situation in which Neville gets a blow job. Do we all not agree that he totally deserves one? Any pairing, slash or het. Post 'em here and spread the word to your flists!

There's some very good stuff already, but you should go and make your own contribution so that we can all remind ourselves of just how awesome Neville really is.

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS, SO NO CLICKY IF YOU'VE NOT READ THE BOOK YET!

As evidenced by my drunken post last night, my Harry Potter plans went slightly awry. I had intended to have one single pint, pick up the book and spend the night reading. Instead, I had four pints, spent an hour and a half queuing for the book, had another pint, went to a Chinese retaurant/disco (seriously), had three double vodkas, bought chips and onion rings, came home, drunkenly (and unsuccessfully) attempted to watch Big Brother, and fell asleep.

Good times, my friends, good times. I was a bit disappointed by the launch party at Borders which was a bit... well, rubbish. The staff had made amazing attempts at dressing up, so fair play to them, and it was clear that they were all working really hard, but it just lacked magic. There weren't too many kids, and they were playing a strange selection of music. Plus, the queue was absolutely mental, wrapping its way through both floors.

The free goodie bag, though, was surprisingly good. There was some promotional stuff for the Spiderwick movie (I didn't even know there was going to be a Spiderwick movie), three samplers for upcoming kids/YA books (one of which claims to be 'Ideal for the reader who has outgrown Harry Potter' which has completely put me off, because who outgrows HP?) and a full copy of Stormbreaker by Anthony Horowitz. So I was pretty impressed. I also bought The Devil You Know by Mike Carey and Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill. Shockingly, they didn't have a single copy of the new L.J. Smith reprints OR anything by John Green. Bah!

This morning, I was woken up when SOMEONE THREW A PIECE OF FRUIT THROUGH MY WINDOW AND IT LANDED ON MY HAND. I swear to God. SOMEONE THREW FRUIT THROUGH MY WINDOW. What the fuck is that all about? Needless to say, I was utterly confused by the whole thing and just stared at the fruit on my hand for a while.

Once I'd gotten over the shock, it was time to start reading Deathly Hallows - yay!

( Clearly, there will be spoilers under here )

I've just noticed that the icons I've used in my last two posts follow each other brilliantly. First we have Alan Rickman as Snape saying 'I say we get pissed because I'm all out of ideas' which is followed by Alan Rickman as Metatron saying 'very drunk'. Ha!

I've just been approved to run the Hermione Granger/Severus Snape adult fan-fiction fanlisting!

OH MY GOD!

I honestly didn't think I'd be approved.

I am currently dancing a dance of joy.

I went to see Order of the Phoenix yesterday and, unlike seemingly everyone else, I loved it.

( Cut for spoilers and whatnot )
The cinema we went to is showing remastered versions of The Wicker Man and Withnail & I in August which makes me very happy indeed. They're also showing Gladiator at the end of this month. The chance to see that movie on the big screen again is too good to pass up,.

It's been a while since I've recommended any fan-fiction, though I've been religiously bookmarking favourites with an eye to that recommendation list I keep telling people I'm going to make.

I've just finished reading a fic, however, that I have to rec now. It's completely unlike anything I've ever read for the pairing, and for the fandom for that matter. Detached, passionate, intriguing and painful all at the same time, if you're a Harry Potter fan at all, I demand you go read it when you have a spare few minutes.

Archaeologist by Unknown (part of the sshg_exchange)

Main characters are Hermione and Snape, with a side of Harry (and I mean that in a completely non-sexual way *shudder*).

putana, I think you'll really enjoy this one.

So, two things have been bothering me lately as I read HP fan-fic.

Why is Snape always described as having his hair pulled back in a queue? From what I understand this is a Chinese custom with all sorts of connotations. Why have writers latched onto this instead of the more prosaic - 'Snape ties his hair back. It is not in a queue. It is just tied back. Because he's not an ancient Chinese warrior.'

What's with the phrase 'arse over teakettle'? O.o It keeps popping up and I don't understand it because it makes absolutely no sense. The phrase should be 'arse over tits', obviously, so how, exactly, does a teakettle relate to tits? There's no possible way they can be interchangeable. And where has this teakettle nonsense come from anyway?

In non-HP-question-related news, I bought a bunch of books in a charity shop today, and I still have a headache.

EDIT: Oh, and my layout mojo has completely deserted me. I didn't have much layout mojo to begin with, but now there's none. All my recent layouts have looked the same. I'm quite annoyed by the whole situation.

Holy mother of Christ - Zombie!Harry?!

(Plus, more shitty!Lupin, Lucius gets his sex on and Lorraine says 'why, hello!', Neville continues to be awesome, even if the filmmakers think he's from the 1920s, and Snape continues to make me love him.)

(Also, I think Evanna Lynch is fabulous and I haven't even seen the movie yet.)

*might stop spamming LJ now*

About a million pictures from the upcoming Harry Potter movie seem to be floating around the internet, and as I have work to do, I've been sifting through them.

First off, and this is something I've complained about since the third movie, WHERE ARE YOUR ROBES?! YOU'RE WIZARDS, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! *ahem*

That said, Severus Snape looks damn sexy without his robes. Hello Alan Rickman's legs! Nice to see you.

It saddens me that Draco continues to be unattractive. It's a real shame. He was perfect in the first movie and it's just gone downhill from there. Poor Tom Felton.

Sirius Black, on the other hand, is looking mighty dapper these days. I find I'm vaguely attracted to him in the nicely-tailored outer coat/waistcoat combo.

But then we're back to the less fortunate, and we find that the movie people seem to be going out of their way to make poor Remus look shit. David Thewlis is actually a rather attractive man, but they seem to hide it so well when he plays Remus. And yes, I get that Remus is a werewolf and old before his time etc. etc. but he shouldn't look utterly shit, surely?

It's okay though, because regretful-looking Severus Snape makes my insides go all funny. Yum.

Good lord, I've just read the best Harry Potter fic that I've read in quite some time.

How to Disable a Sneakoscope
Featuring sneaky!bastard!Lupin and a Snape who knows. Read it. IMMEDIATELY.

In my further attempts to spam LJ like I've never spammed it before, I'm taking a leaf out of chaletian's book and looking back over some unfinished fan-fic.

I know I wrote the first one when I was drunk. I clearly remember checking my friends list and seeing a prompt on one of the newsletters I subscribe to. My drunken brain decided that I would be able to write the perfect story for that prompt. Sadly, after typing like a lunatic for ten minutes, I gave up and went to bed. The next morning I had forgotten what the prompt was or where I was going with the story. Despite the fact that Remus is mentioned nowhere, I know this was intended to be a Snupin fic.

( Harry Potter: Severus Snape gets emo in a very grown-up way )

I think we should all take a moment to admire my use of the word 'stymied', a word I am sure I've never used before. Thank you drunken brain for such a sparkling use of vocabulary.

I actually have at least two versions of the next beginning-of-a-fic and a notebook detailing plot and relevant song lyrics. Oh, yes. Remember the Damon/Rowan fic I was always going on about? This is it, baby!

( LJS: Damon Salvatore picks up chicks in a nightclub )

I do believe my future lies in romance novels.

Our next fic-in-the-making was to be written for arrowisland. Sadly, she wanted less plot and more porn so a different version was eventually finished. I like this one more though. Not that it really matters since I was writing it for her and she defriended me a while back - hmph!

( X-Men: Icarus is dumped at the Academy and takes stock of his emoful life )

I quite like the last paragraph to that one.

For quite some time, I worked on a Chalet School story that was set in modern times. There are several incarnations which fill at least two notebooks, but this is the lucky one that made it on to the computer.

( Chalet School: A Prefect drags a sulky Middle through an airport en route to the most famous boarding school of them all )

Our final entry was written shortly after I spent a month in Germany. I learned absolutely no German, was called a boy by a shopkeeper, but came away with a deep appreciation for Germany as a whole. I know there were other versions of this. Some of them much more explicit. I think I even stole some of the plot for this and put it in my Damon/Rowan fic. Yes, though he's not mentioned, Damon was to make a fanged appearance. The plan was that he would torment the girl in her dreams until she though she was going crazy and then the dreams would become reality, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

( LJS: Samantha has some bad dreams in Germany )

Even I am amazed at my own fabulousness!

I meant to post this quite some time ago and pretty much forgot. Basically, it's the fic I submitted to hp_loveletters as a gift for oconel.

Title: Sectumsempra
Rating: 18 (that means there's sex, 'kay?)
Summary: Harry/Draco. The aftermath of the sectumsempra spell.

( There's a plot, but really it's just porn )

[1] Karkaroff & Snape
[3] Severus Snape
[2] Philosopher's Stone Posters
[2] Trio (Harry, Ron, Hermione)
[1] Hogs Head
[2] Minerva McGonagall
[1] Weasley Family
[3] Sirius Black
[1] Albus Dumbledore

Previews:

( Under Here! )

My three day work week is officially over, so hurrah, huzzah and celebrations all around! What's even better is that tomorrow's Paddy's Day and there's much drowning of the shamrock to be done. Plus, the three last games of the Six Nations are on Saturday, where there shall be further drowning of the shamrock and hopefully much celebrating as Ireland win the Triple Crown and the overall championship *crosses fingers*

Hail, glorious St. Patrick, indeed.

( 20 Harry Potter Icons )

Lalalala, more iconage, including a good number for 100hp and my Severus Snape Table.

[1] Oliver Wood
[1] Gilderoy Lockhart
[1] Igor Karkaroff
[1] Macnair
[1] Minerva McGonagall
[1] Remus Lupin & Mad-Eye Moody
[1] Hermione & Ron
[1] Cho Chang
[1] Slytherin/Draco Malfoy
[10] Severus Snape

( All my attention seems to be going to Snape these days )

More icons, because Snape and Wood are love. And I suppose Draco and Hermione are alright too ;p

Again, largely made for wandless_icons and 100hp, with the Snape ones usually being updated in the Severus Snape: 100 Icons table before they're posted elsewhere. The Oliver icons are also for 100hp, but have not yet been honoured with their own table.

[10] Severus Snape
[02] Oliver Wood
[02] Ron Weasley
[02] Draco Malfoy

( Iconage This Way )

Better to Copulate Than Never by McKay & Arionrhod.

NC-17. A powerful potion requires Severus Snape lose his virginity. Uncertain of how to proceed, he asks Remus Lupin for some advice. But then, as Severus has always known, Gryffindors are spectacular idiots.

*prods any and all Snape and/or Lupin fans to read this*